Ever have one of those epiphany moments where you KNOW that the Lord is leading you to X, Y, or Z and you're like, "Yes, Lord! Here I am! Send me!" And you shoot out of the starting blocks like a bat out of Hades at a break-neck pace, ready to run the race and fight the good fight? You and the Lord are tight. He's holding you and you're veritably leaping over mountaintops and you're all like, "I got this, Lord!" and you straighten your cape...
And then all of the sudden, it's like, that stuff is hard. You stumble. You feel like you have boulders tied around your ankles and defeat nearly crushes you.
And it hits you...when God calls us to places, it isn't always easy. In fact, we should just assume it will be difficult. But for some confounding reason, while we're soaring with the Lord, we forget that there will also be times when He requires that we walk on our own two feet. And those times will be trying and challenging...and worth it.
It's during those times that we walk through thorns and over rocky paths that our faith in Him grows.
Today was one of those moments when I sobbed as I figuratively picked the rocks out of my shoes.
I questioned God and the placement of my life. I wondered why I was where I was and doing what I'm doing.
I was defeated. Beaten. Lost.
I took a walk and popped in the ear buds to blare out the stress of the day. As I was walking and crying, swallowing my pride and lamenting my weaknes and failure, I heard the Lord whisper.
His is always a small voice, isn't it?
And what I heard was that I wasn't a failure at all. In fact, the enemy was so angry at the progress that had been made that he was amping up his attacks so that I'd become discouraged and distracted.
And for a time, it worked.
Once I realized I was being played I wised up and I got angry.
Where did I ever get the notion that following where God leads equals comfort? I forget every. single. time. that God's work is always completed with blood, sweat, and tears. Perseverance. Tenacity.
As God reminded me of that, I reminded the devil that I'm on a mission and I don't have time to be distracted.
I texted my friend the realization I'd come to:
I said that the enemy must be pretty ticked off at our progress for him to lash out at me like that. What did my friend say? She reminded me of the hashtag the Lord gave me this year:
Yes, ma'am. We #keepshowingup because it's what we do. We don't back down. We put one foot in front of the other and keep marching.